How concept of “Brotherhood” helps for leading happy life?

When Swami Vivekananda attended the Parliament of the World’s Religions, Chicago in 1893 he started his speech with “Dear Sisters and Brothers of America…” that astonished and got appreciated for the first time by Western countries. Many religions in the World speak about Brotherhood or considering one another as Brother(s) or Sister(s). How can one treat another as a brother/sister? Or why should we? How would it help in our daily life? Is it not something difficult to treat someone who is not our sibling, to be a brother/sister? What am I going to achieve because of this treatment? These are few of the questions one gets when they hear the terms “Universal Brotherhood” or “Fraternity” !!

image

Let us analyze some of the situations where we will evaluate how difficult it is to implement the concept of brotherhood with other than your siblings:

Situation How you react if Mr. A is your brother How you react if Mr. A is not your brother
Mr. A promised to show up at your home at 5:00 PM to help you and he did not turn up. If you know your brother is always punctual then you would think he must have been in some important work and so he did not turn up. If you had same situation earlier too, then you would take it as his default behavior. In a worst case scenario you would call him and shout at him for not turning up on time.

But do you become revengeful on your brother for this? Will you not speak with him the next day in a casual manner even though this happened? This situation may have resulted in few minutes of anger, But your feeling towards him is same as before and no negative thoughts.

If your colleague or some other person has promised you that he will definitely turn up and did not. Even you may not be revengeful but may feel like teaching him a lesson or may develop some negative feelings or may reciprocate the same to him. If the other person is your colleague you may show up these differences at work place too. This will definitely affect your productivity as a team if you are very mindful of small things happening in your life because of the others.
Mr. A, has taken little money from you and promised to pay you in a month and he did not. If it is very little money, you might go to an extent of forgetting about getting back your money. You may think if he gives that’s fine. Otherwise, that’s fine too. But this will not be affecting your relationship with him and you have no negative thoughts on him for this. You may not consider forgetting the money even if it is very little unless if you have a very good relation with the other person. If the other person is your colleague then the result of this may affect your productivity at work place. If the other person is other than your colleague still that will have its own consequences in relation to that person.
Mr. A, cheated you and took all the inherited property and you got nothing. You may go through legal procedures against him to get your share even though he is your brother. This may affect your relationship based on your level of expectation on your share. If it does not bother you, you might keep him at some distance. Net result is your relationship is strained. You will go through legal procedures against the other person like how you would go against your brother. There will be no difference in this aspect. Many people think that if we consider others as our own brothers we might have to forgive him which is practically impossible.
Mr. A, did a great damage through some way and it was irrevocable. If damage caused to you is at a very high level, you might resort to revengeful attitude and you definitely want to take revenge on him or see that he is punished for his acts. Only great people may forgive in these circumstances. There is no difference in answer that we attributed if it is your own brother.
Mr. A, has unnecessarily scolded or blamed you for a trivial thing, despite no mistake of yours. Initially you may be angry but it will remain for short term only. You might let your brother know the truth once things calm down and you will be normal with your brother. But again this depends on the severity of the issue. If it is not something forgivable then it might strain the relationship. This happens in an extreme case. You may not react in same way as you would with your brother. If you have rapport with the other person you may tell him the facts. Otherwise, you will keep your mouth shut and in your heart always feel bad about the situation. It may affect your productivity if you are working with that person.
You had a fight with Mr. A and your relationship is strained. After few years you have learnt that he is in a great trouble and badly needs help. Even your relation has strained, when he gets into real trouble and no one is helping him then you would definitely lend him a helping hand keeping the differences aside (Unless you had a very bad fight that led into a life time war.) If you know about the other person with whom you had a fight and he is in a trouble you would try to help him and so it will be the same answer if he was your brother in this situation.

Overall, if it is not our brother we may resort to the following activities when in difference with other persons:

  • We may speak ill of that person for every small difference with everyone we meet. This may result in two groups: One group who supports you and the other one who thinks you are crazy or a kid. Thus you would be losing some good friends because of the small issues.
  • If the other person is your colleague then the differences would lead you in poor performance at work place as even if you want to work with him still you will take every action his to be in negative manner. Eventually this would make your life hell every day at office with the other person.
  • Every man will have his own problems in his personal life and imagine if you add professional problems too then it will be like living a tough life and both will interfere in each other.

If we apply the brotherhood concept, then the reactions would be different as below:

  • First of all if you observe the tabular data it is not so hard but it seems to be more beneficial if you follow. As in scenarios where you are unable to forgive your brother, you will not forgive others too. So, still you are following the brotherhood concept.
  • If you encounter any small issue with your colleague or other ones then think how you will react to that situation if it is your brother. If you feel you can forgive your brother for that issue or ignore then do the same with the other person.
  • If someone has caused you some irrevocable damage, any ways you have to go through the legal procedures as do with your brother. Or take actions in such a way to punish the other person. That cannot be avoided at any time.
  • If your superior scolds you even if it is not your mistake just take the step what you would if it has been your brother. Send him an email or talk to him later when he calms down and let him know the facts. This would not strain the relationship with your boss and no bad feelings. If he understands you it at least makes him feel sorry for his behavior.
  • This would help you to get rid of problems at work to be carried to home and then at least you can concentrate on solving your personal problems if you have any.
  • If any of your colleague keep on argues with you just think it is your brother and ignore. You try to explain him once if he gets it then fine. Else let him learn by himself but do not develop hard feelings towards him.
  • Note in this way we can still maintain very good relationship with other people who are not part of our family. Even your being unmindful of the other’s forgivable or forgettable wrong doings may lead other person to feel ashamed or develop great respect for you once he realizes that.

May the great spiritual leaders across the world would have advocated this concept for the benefit of mankind to lead a happy and peaceful life. This also develops leadership qualities which helps you focus on your goals rather than focusing on the trivial issues. Also, it improves your productivity at other areas and gives you recognition. You may be regarded as a problem solver or a good boss at your work place as personal issues will never crop a hole in your productivity. So brotherhood is not something we need to take it out of actual meaning but to take the concept and try to apply on others. No one in this world can be literally our own brother but we can regard them as such in concept. This improves our relation with others (neighbors, people at work place etc.).

Basic rule: If an issue can be ignored/forgivable  with your brother, try to follow the same with others. Again it is up to each person’s own discretion. Evaluate the severity of the issue and if it is something which cannot be tolerated at least you would not be revengeful but would take appropriate actions. If you have to shout then shout. If you have to kick other person do it as you do it with your brother; but do not keep on thinking on how to take revenge on that person. As the other person may be leading happy life by making yours miserable. It will affect our productivity and eventually lead to problems at personal front too. All great leaders have used this concept to build the nation strong by replacing the differences in the people’s mind with the goals of life or with the goals of the nation. Who knows 80% of the world problems are simple and can be resolved with the concept of brotherhood.